Missing the Rabbi

In the annals of modernist art, three European Jewish names stand out: Marc Chagall, Chaim Soutine, and Amedeo Modigliani. A fourth should be added. This is Emmanuel Mané Katz. Born in 1894 to a traditional Jewish family in the Ukraine, he moved to Paris at the age of nineteen to pursue a career as a painter, and there joined the three more fabled artists named above. Together, they have been loosely called the School of Paris. [Not Marc Chagall, Aryeh Tepper]

Les Désguisés, M. Laurencin

In 1986 my mother and I visited the Petit Palais museum in Geneva, Switzerland. My primary reason for wanting to visit was to see artwork by Marie Laurencin, whose paintings of women I had come to admire. Before leaving the Petit Palais we went to the gift store where I purchased a print of one of Laurencin's paintings along with a print by Emmanuel Mané- Katz. He was completely unknown to me that day and sadly, for many years I wasn't even sure of his name when it hung on my living room wall. 

The Rabbi was painted towards the end of Mane-Katz' life in 1960.  Typical of his later work it is bright and colorful with a red-headed rabbi and a Torah cover of bright green. Rabbis, Torah covers and members of the Jewish community were primary subjects for M-K.  If, like me you've spent years with one of his paintings, you will see that the faces in The Rabbi are mirrored in many of M-K's work. Although, I must say, that I find the expressions in my painting to be particularly deep and meaningful.

Three years ago we moved twice in one summer and some how the rabbi never made it to our final destination. There is no way to truly replace the print. I can't go back to the Petit Palais gift shop. In fact, nobody can! It was a privately owned museum which closed after the owner died. The paintings are cared for by a trust which loans them to museums around the world. To date I can find no trace of my painting. I have searched for hours with little luck. M-K had a few favorite subjects, rabbis, students, Hasidic communities and Klezmer musicians. Every so often there is a still life of flowers or a bare breasted woman, but mostly it's Jewish men teaching, praying, worshipping or simply being, all of which makes this search more difficult. In the meantime though, I have come to have a deeper appreciation for this artist whose work clearly demonstrates his connections to Chagall, Picasso and others of his age. Again from Tepper's 2011 post in Jewish Ideas Daily.

The Rabbi, Emmanuel Mané-Katz

"Mané-Katz's connection to the Jewish world was based on more than nostalgia for a vanished past. He first visited the land of Israel in 1928, and returned often even while spending most of his adult life in Paris. During Israel's 1948-49 war of independence, he arrived with sixty of his paintings for an exhibition at the Tel Aviv museum; he was the fourth tourist formally to enter the newborn country.

"His love affair with Israel was officially consummated in 1958 when the city of Haifa offered him a modest villa perched on Mount Carmel overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, with the understanding that his works would be stored there after he passed away. He died suddenly four years later, in 1962. Today, the site is home to the Mané Katz museum." [A. Tepper] 

Today I emailed a used book store which has a museum catalog featuring the work of Mane-Katz. The Rabbi is the cover artwork and I am hoping it is of a size worth framing. On the other hand, if it is only as big as a snapshot, that might be okay as well. It would still remind me of the day with my mother; the lovely house that became a museum; and what it means for me to study the Hebrew Bible.

Living in the Gap

I'm on leave from call. It happens. For those unfamiliar with the phrase, it means I don't currently have a job. There are various reasons why pastors find themselves in this space. Changes in their personal lives. Changes at the church. Changes in perspective. Whatever the cause, it means living in the gap between the last thing and the next. 

Living in the gap means that you can probably wear pajama pants for most of the day. The key to this practice is to take a shower before other people come home from work and then change into clean pajama pants. Nobody is expecting you to put on makeup, but there are bonus points if you do more than let your hair air drip dry. 

You can catch an afternoon nap if you're minding the gap,  but try to schedule it before those other people come home. It's bad form to consistently be found lollygagging on the couch while others have put in a full day of work. If possible, do something during the day that is a visible sign that you did more than binge watch old tv shows. I have found that making dinner, emptying the dishwasher or starting a load of laundry are all seen as signs of life. Housemates may find it especially thrilling if you do one of their regular chores. It's a twofer. You get points for the chore itself, plus you're seen as being thoughtful.

If this sounds like the manipulations of a lazy person, you might be right. On the other hand, living in this particular gap can be emotionally exhausting. Looking for a new job is the hardest job around and the church doesn't like to make it too easy. There are pages of paperwork to complete with essays detailing your gifts, your skills and your favorite thoughts about God. 

As you consider what to say on all those forms, you are regularly reminded that you aren't doing any of those things that you claim to find important and engaging. It doesn't help that nobody is calling you Pastor. You see Pastor is not just a job or vocation, it's also a title. It even becomes part of your name. The number of people who call me Heidi is a mere fraction of the number who call me Pastor Heidi or just Pastor. Here in the gap, I'm Heidi or Mom. Even the dog thinks my name is Mom! 

It's not smart to get too comfortable here in the gap. You need to keep an eye on the third rail and God forbid you build a little fort down here with blankets and tv trays. Keeping busy is good. Doing those things that you said you would do some day can provide healthy activity. But every so often, take a look at what's on the other side of the gap. Look around. See what's there. Where are the best hand holds for climbing out when the time comes?

I am making a list of things to do this summer. There is a good combination of creativity, practical housekeeping, education and preaching for vacationing colleagues. All of which is good, but it's happening outside of my regular life. I'm living in the gap. 

God is with us!

Dear Beloved Community-

This morning when I looked out my kitchen window there were several robins on the lawn busily finding their breakfast. Instead of yesterday's cold rain, today has brought a change in temperature, that along with the robins, made me feel like Spring has truly sprung. That having been said, they are predicting snow for Monday.

As I washed my hands for the second time in twenty minutes, this refrain came to mind:

     Morning by morning new mercies I see;

     all I have needed thy hand hath provided;

     great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

I believe that God remains solid and consistent or as the hymn writer Thomas Chisholm wrote, "thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not; as thou hast been, thou forever wilt be."  Yet, we are living in a time when each day seems to bring dramatic changes in the status quo.

On March 20th it was reported that 100,000 people in Pennsylvania have applied for unemployment assistance in just one week. The pandemic has resulted in unemployment and underemployment for many in our community. Those who were already facing these challenges are experiencing heightened anxiety as community services are in high demand. Organizations like Pennridge FISH are doing their best, but they are having serious shortages.

So, what's the church to do? I think it's important that we remind each other again and again that God is with us. God's love is the constant we can always lean into. At the same time, God calls Christians to pay attention to the world around us and put that love into action.

Affirmation of Baptism as Croning Ritual

Due to the historical understanding of the word crone, not all women may be comfortable with this term, as it may suggest an image of an old, withered and haggard woman.  As this sense of the word is not intended by the ritual, many may prefer to frame the service differently or simply call it an Affirmation of Baptism.

preparation

Women who are participating in the Croning ritual may choose to prepare themselves through fasting and/or meditation prior to the service. This is certainly not mandatory but may add to their experience of the ritual particularly if it is followed by a festive meal.

The worship space should be prepared. Seating should be reserved to accommodate any or all the following:

•  Those making affirmation of their baptism
• Wise Women of the community who are honored guests
• Friends and family who will offer their memories as a part of the ritual
• Worship leaders which may include a presiding minister, liturgical director, lector and acolyte.

The altar or overall space may be decorated with memorable objects that symbolize important points in the participants’ lives. They may be organized by decade or around major life events. Planners are encouraged to create an atmosphere of abundance. Flowers, greenery, shells, seasonal fruits and vegetables, grains, nuts – all may be used to decorate the altar and worship area.

The font should have central place. If this is not possible, planners are encouraged to create a temporary font which can be seen by all during the ritual. Water is central to the celebration and remembrance of baptism. The sound and the feel of water should be remembered by those who participate. An ewer or pitcher should be filled and placed at the font.

GATHERING

Welcome

Since it is likely that members of the assembly will be unfamiliar with this type of ritual, it will be helpful for the presiding minister to offer a few brief comments of welcome and introduction. Issues of hospitality such as childcare, location of facilities and use of electronics may be included in the welcome or in a printed bulletin.

CONFESSION AND FORGIVENESS

All may make the sign of the cross, a sign of Baptism and grace.    

  L   Blessed be the holy Trinity, ☩ one God, who forgives all our sin, whose mercy endures forever.

  C   Amen

 The presiding minister may lead the gathering in this preparation prayer.

  L   God of all wisdom, you know us inside and out.  You knit us together in our mothers’ wombs long before we took our first breaths. You have seen our missteps and our successes and in all things, you have loved us. Cleanse our hearts, our minds and our spirits that we may love you more fully and serve you in all that we say and do.

  C   Amen

The following or another confession may be prayed.

  L   Let us confess our sin in the presence of God and of one another.

The assembly kneels or stands. Silence is kept for reflection.

  L   Gracious God,

  C   have mercy on us. We confess that we have turned from you and followed our own will. We have sinned against you, but we are truly sorry and humbly repent.  In your great kindness, forgive us our sins, known and unknown, things we have done and things we have left undone.  Turn us again to you, so that our lives might show the power of your grace.  Amen

The presiding minister announces God’s forgiveness with these or similar words.

  L   God, whose mercy is never-ending, loved us even when were dead in sin and made us alive in Christ. By grace you have been saved. In the name of ☩ Jesus Christ, your sins are forgiven. May the power of the Holy Spirit strengthen you, that Christ might dwell in your heart and mind and soul.

  C   Amen

The assembly stands.

Gathering Song

Having a musician lead the assembly’s song is always preferred. However, if that is not possible, planners should choose music which will be familiar and identify someone who can lead the singing prior to the event.

Suggested Songs for use in the ritual.  ELW: Evangelical Lutheran Worship; WOV: With One Voice

All Are Welcome, ELW 641

Baptized in Water, ELW 456

Bind Us Together, WOV 758

Borning Cry, WOV ELW 742

For All the Faithful Women, WOV 692

For All the Faithful Women, ELW 419

God is Here, ELW 526

O Blessed Spring, WOV 447

Take Oh, Take Me As I Am, ELW 814

Waterlife, ELW 457

Baptismal Hymns, ELW 209–217, 442–459

  L   God be with you.

  C   And also with you.

The following prayer or another prayer for the day is used.

  L   Let us pray.

        God of the beginning and of the end, you are the source of holy wisdom, and the fountain of all truth. We give you thanks for the wise women among us, especially…  We have been enriched by their wisdom and seasoning. We are touched by their knowledge and faith. Bless them, O God, as they are a blessing to us. Pour out your Spirit, that all our elders may continue to dream dreams and bear witness to the light they know in Jesus Christ. And may each of us be inspired to lead lives of service and faithfulness. 

  C   Amen

  

ENCOUNTERING THE WORD

As this is a specifically Christian ritual, one or more readings from the Bible should be read. These readings may be chosen by those who are affirming their baptism.  They should be encouraged to select readings which particularly speak to their faith journey.  If a psalm is chosen, worship planners are encouraged to involve the gathered assembly through word, chant or song. Some suggested texts are:

Psalm 23   The Lord is my shepherd

Psalm 27 The Lord is my light and salvation

Psalm 46   God is our refuge and strength

Psalm 71 The Lord will revive me

Psalm 90 Our dwelling place in all generations

Psalm 121 I lift up my eyes to the hills

Proverbs 8  Wisdom’s call

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season

Romans 5:1-5 Justification by faith gives peace

Romans 14:7-8   We do not live to ourselves

Philippians 3:12-16 Pressing on to the goal

The readings may be announced:

A reading from __________

The reading may be concluded:

Word of God, word of life.

The assembly responds:

Thanks be to God.

GOSPEL ACCLAMATION

The assembly is invited to stand for the proclamation of the Gospel.  The person giving the proclamation may choose to process to a place central in the assembly. An Alleluia or Lenten verse may be sung prior to the reading.

THE GOSPEL

Some suggested gospel readings include those listed, however worship planners are encouraged to work with those affirming their baptism to choose readings which are reflective of their faith and which create a cohesive gospel message for the day.

Matthew 6:25-34   Do not be anxious

Luke 12:6-7   The hairs of your head are all counted

John 3:16-21   For God so loved the world

John 14:1-3   I prepare a place for you

John 15:7-11   Abide in my love

The gospel is announced:

The Gospel according to _________

Glory to you, O Lord.

The gospel concludes:

The gospel of the Lord.

Praise to you, O Christ.

HOMILY

A homily may be offered. The homily should be brief and can help to frame other readings and remembrances offered during the Croning ritual.

SONG OF THE DAY

Worship planners are encouraged to choose a song which speaks to the scriptural texts that have been chosen or to the affirmation of baptism. There is wisdom in making effective use of hymn concordances found online or in print.

SHARING OUR STORY

This section of the liturgy moves the focus more directly onto the persons affirming their baptism. It is a time to bear witness to the gifts of faith and wisdom that have been shared by individuals. Some possibilities for directing this portion of the ritual would be:

1.     Celebration of the Decades: Invite someone from each decade of the person’s life to give a brief reflection.  These should be limited in time, 1 to 3 minutes at most.  If this model is chosen, worship planners should keep the overall service length in mind.

2.     Her Story: Those women affirming their baptism reflect on what the ritual means to them.  How do they envision themselves within the role of wise woman?

3.     Voices of Wisdom: Worship planners may invite elders from the assembly to share readings.  Possible readings are found in Appendix 1.

SONG OR SPECIAL MUSIC

An assembly song or special music may be offered.  At this time those affirming their baptism should move to the area of the font.

AFFIRMATION OF BAPTISM

The presiding minister addresses the assembly.

Joined to Christ in the waters of baptism,

we are clothed with God's mercy and forgiveness.

Let us give thanks for the gift of baptism.

Water may be poured into the font as the presiding minister gives thanks.

We give you thanks, O God,

for in the beginning your Spirit moved over the waters

and by your Word you created the world,

calling forth life in which you took delight.

When you led Israel from slavery and through the waters of the Red Sea,

your prophet Miriam rejoiced in song and dance for the freedom that you gave to her people.

Through the waters of birth, your Son was born of Mary

to be Immanuel, God with us.

Throughout his life, Jesus made water to be a sign of new life.

He promised the Samaritan woman at the well,

a spring of living water that would well up within her to eternal life.

And when a woman soothed his tired feet with her tears,

Jesus honored her gift of love and proclaimed her faithfulness.

We praise you for the gift of water that sustains our lives in so many ways.

Above all we praise you for the gift of new life through our baptism in Jesus Christ.

Shower us with your Spirit, and renew our lives with your forgiveness, grace, and love.

Amen

Presentation

The leader addresses the assembly with these or similar words.

Dear friends, we give thanks for the gift of baptism and for these women, who are making public affirmation of their baptism.

Those making affirmation may be presented by a friend or family member with these or other words:

I present name/s who desire to make public affirmation of their baptism.

The presiding minister may continue with prayer.

Let us pray.

Merciful God, we thank you for these sisters,

whom you have made your own by water and the Word in baptism.

We have been graced by their wisdom and seasoning.

We are touched by their knowledge and faith.

Pour out your Spirit upon them, that they may continue to dream dreams

and live lives that speak of your grace and saving power.

Uphold them in the gifts and promises of baptism,

and unite the hearts of all whom you have brought to new birth.

We ask this in the name of Christ.

Amen

Profession of Faith

The presiding minister addresses those making public affirmation of baptism. The assembly may stand and join in the responses.

Do you believe in God the Father?

I believe in God, the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth.

Do you believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God?

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died, and was buried;

he descended to the dead.*

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,

he is seated at the right hand of the Father,

and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

Do you believe in God the Holy Spirit?

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting.

Affirmation

The presiding minister addresses those making public affirmation of baptism.

You have made public profession of your faith. Do you intend to continue in the covenant God made with you in holy baptism:

to live among God’s faithful people,

to hear the word of God and share in the Lord’s supper,

to proclaim the good news of God in Christ through word and deed,

to serve all people, following the example of Jesus,

and to strive for justice and peace in all the earth?

Each person responds:

I do, and I ask God to help and guide me.

The minister addresses the assembly.

Let us pray.

We give you thanks, O God, that through water and the Holy Spirit you give us new birth, cleanse us from sin, and raise us to eternal life.

The blessing may be repeated for each person. The minister may lay both hands on the head of the person and say:

Stir up in name the gift of your Holy Spirit: the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord, the spirit of joy in your presence, both now and forever.

Amen.

OR

Father in heaven, for Jesus’ sake, stir up in name the gift of your Holy Spirit; confirm her faith, guide her life, empower her in her serving, give her patience in suffering, and bring her to everlasting life.

Amen.

Those making public affirmation stand and face the assembly. A representative of the congregation may address the assembly with these or other words.

Let us rejoice with these sisters in Christ.

We rejoice with you in the life of baptism.

Together we will give thanks and praise to God

and proclaim the good news to all the world.

Those who have affirmed their faith may be presented with a reminder of the ritual.  Some possibilities include:

·  Baptismal or water symbols such as shells, sea glass, candles or artwork.

·  Symbols of wisdom or initiation such as a staff, garland, crown of flowers, a cloak or shawl.

·  Shroud or kittel. A kittel is a traditional Jewish garment worn by a male at ceremonies marking life changes, at Passover, Yom Kippur finally at his burial.  Some Jewish croning ceremonies include the presentation of a kittel. The idea is similar to the notion of the Christian funeral pall reflecting the baptismal garment.

                                                                                                                    

CLOSING SONG

BLESSING AND SENDING

May the God of all graciousness guide you day by day, giving you what is needed. 

May you always travel with the one who is  +  the way, the truth, and the life.  

May the Spirit give you good companions to cheer your way

and a clear vision of that which God is calling you to do.

Amen

Portions of  this service are from the Evangelical Lutheran Book of Worship. Augsburg Fortress.
The Water Prayer was written by Heidi Rodrick-Schnaath.

It was the Sabbath.

I am currently taking a class on Parables and Healing Stories.  This is my homework for the story of Jesus healing the man with the withered hand.

My Fine Friends

This month my beloved RevGalBlogPals have double dog dared us to write something every week in July.  It's a "blog carnival" and the first question is What does Galship mean to you?*

About eight years ago I discovered the world of blogging.  My friend Lutheran Zephyr recommended it and at the time it gave me a place to anonymously vent about this and that.  A month or so later I had discovered the RevGalBlogPals ring and tentatively asked permission to join.  I read.  I commented.  I blogged.  I laughed and cried and confused my family with talk of Songbird, Will's Mama, Elastigirl, the Vicar of Hogsmeade and so many others. When the first Big Event was advertised I signed up and then instantly regretted it.  

What if nobody talked to me?  What if they didn't like me in real life?  What if I got seasick or lonely or bored? I didn't really know these women!  What was I thinking?

My daughter, who was 12 at the time, told me to "Stop worrying. It'll be fine!"  So off I went, feeling nervous and shy and slightly nauseous.  

The daughter was right.  It was fine.  More than fine.  It was one of the best weeks ever.  I relaxed.  I got to put voices and faces with names and stories. My online community became tangible and touchable.  

Since then, these "gals" have shared my joys and prayed when I sorrowed.  They have held my secrets and proclaimed the gospel.  I have delighted to spend time with them in the presence of my 78 year old mother and my 20 year old daughter.  They have saved my life on more than one occasion.  

Sounds mushy, I know, but galship isn't just girly friendship.  It is a deep, compassionate, honest, committed relationship centered in a shared faith in Jesus Christ.  It is not so much rare as remarkable.  It is fine, which if you check, may be defined as 

1. of superior or best quality; of high or highest grade:
2. choice, excellent, or admirable:
3. keen or sharp, as a tool.

*I have edited this post three or four times.  In part this was related to my lack of enthusiasm for the word gal.  I struggle with it because so often it feels like people use gal when they really mean woman.  Please know that my feeling about this particular word is no reflection on my deep love for those known as the RevGalBlogPals.

Lent is coming, so here's the Friday Five!

According to the post, my friend KathrynZJ was up at 4:51am posting the questions for today's Friday Five.  What was she thinking?!?   I hope she went back to bad after typing up...

What are some things you appreciate about the season of Lent? Perhaps you would share 5 of them with us. And for your bonus question feel free to share one thing you could do without.

1. I appreciate the rhythm of the prayers from Ash Wednesday to Maundy Thursday-  the thoughtfulness, the reflection, the penitence.
2. Home made soup at soup suppers.
3. The fact that Sundays don't count.  Their resurrection nature cannot be denied.
4. The start date is based on a real day in history and not some borrowed festival.
5. Purple vestments.

Don't like the whole "give something up" business when  it only leads to crankiness and whining and nothing spiritual.

Friday Five: Holiday Redux

RevGalBlogPal KJ has posted the questions for this week's Friday Five.  They're all about the holiday season.

1) What food item was one of your favorites this year - a definite keeper?  Mountain Mama came to visit in December and we made lefse.  My father has always claimed that you could eat anything wrapped in lefse.  This year I followed his lead and actually ate a hot dog wrapped in my favorite Norwegian flatbread made out of leftover mashed potatoes.  He's right!  It's good.  Much better than a cheap supermarket bun.  And for those of you who are offended by this, my grandmother saw street vendors in Oslo selling the same basic item.

2) Was there a meal or party or a gathering that stands out in your mind from this mose recent holiday season?  We had a lovely dinner of fondue with friends on Christmas Eve that ended prematurely when the BugMan said he needed to go.  While his system totally got the better of him on the way home, he did enjoy the Christmas meal the next day.  This was good!

3) Were you involved in a jaw-dropper gift? Were you the giver or recipient or an on-looker?  I'm skipping this one.  Not sure why, just skipping it.

4) Was there at least one moment where you experienced true worship?  Yes, on the 26th.  God is sneaky.

5) What is at least one thing you want to make sure you do next year?  Actually put decorations on the tree.  I managed to get the tree up, but no ornaments made it up out of the basement.  It was that kind of year at our house.

BONUS: What is something you absolutely must remember to do differently... or not at all!  Listen to the Chick when she advises me to let go of things that aren't that important.  Hold on to the things that are.

Reverb10: 5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

• Your husband had esophageal cancer.  He was in the hospital seven times in seven months.  This is why you are exhausted physically and emotionally.  They think they got all the cancer but he still has to do some more chemo.  This makes him vomit.  And vomit loudly.
• Oh and he got his gall bladder out, too.  Sheesh!
• Your daughter has applied to college.  She really wants to go to Susquehanna University.  She's picked it for all the right reasons.  You are hoping that this will all work out.
• Your grandmother died at the age of 100.  You saw her in January at her party.  She was her usual good self just a bit more fragile.  Her children miss her so very much.  Remember, just because they lived a long life doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.  In fact it may make it harder because you're used to having them around.
• Your niece came to stay with you this summer to take care of the Bug Man.  She was amazing in her ability to cope with all that was going on.  Your mother has visited so many times that you've lost count.  The Bug Man clearly has a crush on her.  ;-)  Your M-I-L was here for ten days as well.  It was challenging for both the mom and son, but a good visit.  It's hard to see someone you love be in pain.
• You wish people wouldn't just ask about the cancer.  You know they're concerned, but could we please talk about something else for a little while. 
• You worry that all you ever talk about is the cancer.
• You have papers to finish for that class you're taking at the sem.  Deadline is Friday.  You may not get them finished, but give it your best shot.  It's been a good class for stretching your thinking.  It's also helped you see how you could spend the next ten years getting your Master's in Sacred Theology.  One class at a time...
• You still have a job.  So don't forget to order the Spring textbooks for the store.  People will want to buy their books and it would really suck if you didn't have what they want at the seminary.
• Your cat Timothy died this summer. It was sad to say farewell after 13 years. You adopted a new cat last month. He's a kitten. Not a replacement cat. A new cat named Moonshine.
• The Bug Man's employers continue to hold a job for him. This is a really good thing.  They have said that he should take his time so that he can come back feeling good.  He's shooting for February.  You've decided you'll be happy with March.
• You have not completely lost your sense of humor, but there are days...

Friday Five... tis the season!

KJZ at the RevGalBlogPals wrote this week's Friday Five asking for a list of things that mark the season and one that does NOTHING for you!  So here goes!

1. Advent socks.  For nearly twenty years, my mother-in-law has been sending her kids and grandkids "Advent Socks."  Usually the females get something with a Christmas motif, but every so often there will be a pair that is blue and seem truly like they were made for Advent.  I am hoping mine came today in the mail!
2. Some kind of baking.   When I was growing up, my mother did gobs and gobs of holiday baking.  Cookies, Swedish coffee bread and I suppose lefse even technically qualifies.  I have never quite lived up to the standard she set, at least not since becoming a mother myself.   It's not a lack of talent but a lack of time and drive that get me.   This year I am feeling kind of guilty since my mother is here for a week and says she's going to make Christmas cookies.  Do I still have to bake one thing?  Or can I just offer up what Mom made?
3. A tree in the window.  I don't like yard decorations all that much, but I do love having a lit Christmas tree in the front window of the house.  We have a new kitten though and I am wondering how we are going to work this all out.  Will people notice if there are only ornaments on the top half of the tree?  Would it be wrong to build a substantial fence around the tree?   Hmmmm......
4. Forgetting to buy candles.  Every year I mean to have the Advent wreath ready and every year it sneaks up on me.  Does my daughter know that there are four weeks of Advent and not three?
5. Wrapping presents in the middle of the night.  When I was a parish pastor, there were always presents that didn't get wrapped until the wee small hours of Christmas Eve/Morning.  You know the time.  It's when the sun has come up in Rome and the Pope is celebrating Christmas mass and you can watch it on WGN or CNN.  Last year I was ready before midnight.  I stayed up late anyhow. 

There is a clear and present theme of procrastination to three out of five of my markers of the season.  And I guess that is one of the things that I don't really like about Advent.  There is so much to do and never as much time as I would like.   I don't mean to procrastinate or eliminate tasks from the "to do" list.  It's just that I find that it is such a very long list.  When I am old and perhaps not so busy, I would like to have a leisurely Advent.  I would do the things that I did when I was an unmarried country pastor with a very small parish.  Make my own cards, make my own wrapping paper, sew, craft, bake...    but for now I am going to enjoy the cookies my mother makes, get some classy looking wrapping paper that doesn't wrinkle when you use it and try to feel guilt-free when we send out email greetings instead of snail mail Christmas cards.

The Fairy That Has Been Living at Our House

This is the fairy that has been living at our house this summer.  Now, don't be shocked, but we call her "the Shit Fairy."  This concept of she who shall hitherto be known as just "the fairy" was shared with me by my mother who has a friend who also was visited by the Fairy.  The Fairy had delivered to her friend not one or two, but three different kinds of cancer all at the same time.  His doctor told him about the Fairy.  My guess is that we all get visits from her from time to time.  The amount of crap that she deposits in our lives is small enough that we just don't seem to notice.  But it seems that in our case, the Fairy just felt we were due for some major visits this summer.

The Bug Man has been diagnosed with cancer and has just finished his second round of chemo and thirty days of radiation.  It's third stage esophageal cancer which means that he'll be having surgery in mid September.  It sucks.  Earlier this summer, while they were figuring out the whole throat thing, he had emergency gall bladder surgery.  Then while he was in the hospital getting his j-tube in for feeding post-surgery, I had to put our cat down.  The Bug Man's comment, "Oh, fine!  I turn my back for one minute and go in the hospital and what do you do?  Kill my cat!"  (We find that dark, dark humor helps when the Fairy has been to your home.)  The cat was 17 years old, well loved and dying of some kind of throat cancer.  (It's been the summer of the sore throat.)

We also said goodbye to my grandmother who at age 100 had lived a full and wonderful life.  But the truth is, when your grandmother has lived for that long, you kind of get used to having her around.  In some ways, her age has made the grieving process harder for her family.  We almost thought she would be around as long as we would.
I haven't blogged in a long while and I have been hesitant to blog about my husband's visits from the Fairy.  I trust you'll keep what I'm writing to yourself and not tell the Bug Man I've been talking about him on the internet.  He hates all the attention.  (Hah!)  But really, this isn't about him, it's about me.  It's about the fact that being married to someone who has cancer really sucks.  And getting multiple visits from the Fairy can really put a cramp in your style.  On the other hand, my mother-in-law took me shopping when she was in town last week and told the saleswoman that my husband had cancer and so she wanted to do something nice for me for my birthday.  (You do the math!  Husband has cancer, I get new clothes!  If I were a completely pathetic person, who looked better in her clothes, I could milk this for all it's worth.)

But seriously, it has been a long summer of restless nights and impatient days.  And yet, I realized today that in the nineteen years we've been married, this is not the worst thing to happen to us.  We've had it much harder than this.  Those long past difficulties led to separation and tears.  This has not.  We are in it together.  We may lose our tempers.  We may wonder if the other person has taken their "happy pills" for the day.  We may say things for which we will have to apologize later, but we haven't walked away.  This is not the worst thing that has happened to us.

Happy Birthday, Amy Olsen!

On January 21st, my grandmother Amy Olsen celebrated her hundredth birthday.  This weekend, her immediate family of 81 or so folks will gather together to eat cake, tell stories and have a wonderful time! 

As a little girl, I always thought Grandma Olsen was the serious grandma.  Grandma Rodrick was the one who would let us drink 7-up at breakfast.  Grandma Olsen was the one who told us to sit up straight at the table.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I can't abide the smell of cooked eggs.  I haven't been able to eat them since I was a toddler.  On a day many years ago, my grandmother served us all boiled eggs as we came to the breakfast table.  No matter how I protested, there was no getting around her and a hard boiled egg.  It took forever to choke that thing down.  When my mother finally got up and was asked "How do you want your eggs?"  She told her mother, "In the refrigerator" and got away with it.  I was so irked!  How come my mother could get away with that nonsense?  Twenty years or more after that morning, my mother learned that Grandma doesn't like eggs.  Never has!  While I washed bits of egg down with water and milk-  she just kept cooking!  Never dawned on me that she hadn't made a plate for herself.  I also ate quiche that she made especially for me and a college boyfriend.  She said she wasn't hungry!  Hah!  She probably doesn't like quiche any more than I do!

My grandmother is a woman of many sides.  She played goalie on a team in high school.  She skated well into her 70s.  She drove until she was 90+.  She has high heels and sneakers.  She knits and bakes and manages her daily life with grace and style. 

Thanks be to God for the blessings of all my grandparents, but this weekend I am especially thankful for Grandma Amy.  She is a faithful, gracious face in the cloud of witnesses around me.

Christmas Eve Memories

Last night I was delighted to be a part of a Christmas Eve service for children. And in the planning, I wanted very much for the children to be the worship leaders. The expectation was that they be cute and costumed. There should be the telling of the Christmas story and we should sing some of the top Christmas carols. Beyond that, I had lots of freedom.

I have been a part of other church staffs where we basically did away with the Christmas pageant. All too often, these things degrade into the kids being bored or disinterested. Grown ups get stressed. Rehearsals are scheduled in the midst of already swamped schedules and it just gets crazy.

Last night was fairly low stress and not too crazy. We had a service of lessons and carols with the kids participating in a "living nativity" as a part of the readings. Two brave boys, one in second grade and one in fifth, read the narratives from Luke and Matthew. Two other second graders led the congregation in the offertory and responsive prayers. They did a wonderful job!

The living nativity went well, with unexpected moments that warmed my heart.

When the shepherds came forward, rather than kneeling or sitting decoratively facing the congregation, they just stood and looked at the baby. (A real baby that it is! Female, doe-eyed and lovely.) They had to be reminded to sit down. I thought they got it just right! They were there to see the baby, not have their picture taken.

At one point, I looked over to see Mary with her headdress a little askew looking tenderly down at the baby. The baby who is old enough to smile was beaming right back at our third grade Mary. I was so glad to be up on the chancel platform to see that moment. I won't forget it any time soon.

The angels, who are both four year old girls, greeted the shepherds and were then to return to the choir area which is also in the chancel area. But they couldn't keep still. They kept leaning over the rail so they could get a look at the baby. They were so excited.

Despite an abundance of cameras in the congregation, the children for the most part were focused on what they were doing. They didn't pose. There was only one or two quick waves. They caught on to what was happening. It wasn't a pageant, it was worship. Thanks and credit be to God.

Bloggers are decent people at bottom

So on NPR today, this was the quote from some guy who apparently gets negative feedback from bloggers, "...even bloggers are decent people at bottom." The guy's a political commentator and clearly he doesn't know the RevGalBlogPals. Beyond decent! Just fabulous people!

I had a great time on the BE aka The Big Event with my RevGalBlogPals. Didn't even need to leave the dock in New Orleans. We could have just sat on the aft deck and I would have been happy. The scenery was just icing on the delicious cake!

Since getting back, lots of folks have wanted reports on what the BE was all about. It was about JOY! Pure joy. I am so glad I got out of my midwestern, Norwegian, mildly introverted box and went on this trip. All the extra supply preaching to pay the way was well worth it!

Some highlights were definitely...

• Charbroiled oysters at the oyster bar with GracebytheSea. Also enjoyed the raw oysters and the melt in your mouth oysters in my not to be believed gumbo at Emeril's. A food previously described as slimey or boiled erasers now has a very joyful spot in my heart.


• A Joy Tattoo! We were all given a word to meditate on during the trip. Mine was joy. Couldn't get a spray paint tattoo of joy- so I took the one shown above- energy. The joy of the trip has given me energy. Hope my boss appreciates my new artwork on Sunday. Hee hee hee! If it washes off before then, I may color it in with a sharpy marker! Several us went under the paintgun. Mine is the one on the wrist. Will Smama's is the real one!


• Three martinis and twelve olives! This was my quote for the night before we went home. I slept real well and I remember, Cheeshead, I remember! What a lovely, lovely night!


• The back of the boat. We sat on the aft deck in the afternoon alternately amusing and scaring off other cruisers. It was a blessed place and very close to the soft serve ice cream.


• Learning about geocaching. The Vicar of Hogsmeade is a geocacher. It's like a scavenger hunt with a GPS. She took a group out on Cozumel and they FOUND it! I'm thinking we all need to hide geocaches on our church signs.


• Mexican food in Mexico. Fabulous food with Songbird, RevDrKate and our own English rose. Still can't believe she came all the way from England! What a treat!


• Laughing. Crying. Listening. Talking. Reading. It was all good!

Good Friday Five

When I was a little girl I really didn't get why we called today "good". It didn't make sense. I wondered if the adults had made a mistake. This was the day when Jesus died on the cross. How could that be good. Fortunately, I caught on after a while. This is a good day. A day when we try to understand the heighth and depth and breadth of God's love for us.

On the RevGalBlogPals I posted these questions today:

1. Our prayer concerns are as varied as we are this day. For whom would you like us to pray? Please pray for Jim and his family.


2. Are there things you have done or will do today to help the young ones understand this important day in our lives? It was important to me as a parent that the Chick understand from an early age that Jesus really did die. I didn't want her to misunderstand and think that he was just resting. We didn't do anything special, beyond bringing her to worship and talking it through. But she knew fairly early on what happened on Good Friday.


3. Music plays an important part in sharing the story of this day. Is there a hymn or piece of music that you have found particularly meaningful to your celebrations of Good Friday? "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded" touches something deep within me.


4. As you hear the passion narrative, is there a character that you particularly resonate with? I think it must be Peter in his desires to get it right and his failures even though he loves Jesus deeply.


5. Where have you seen the gracious God of love at work lately? In the children I spent the last five Sunday's with. They so got what was going on in worship. And they are ready to share the good news.

God's blessings on your Good Friday.

Friday Five... How Time Flies By!

At the RevGalBlogPals, Mother Laura writes:

Our Lent is almost over, while our Orthodox sisters and brothers, whose liturgical year follows the older Julian calendar, are just starting theirs. Nicholas did a recent book report on George Washington, and we were surprised to find out that our first President's birthday was originally Feb. 11, since he was born just before the change to the Gregorian calendar. Apparently the change almost caused rioting, as some indignant people were sure that they were being cheated out of eleven days of their lives! To help you adjust--and enjoy the process--here's a Friday Five about time and transitions....

1. If you could travel to any historical time period, which would it be, and why? I would like to go to a time with indoor plumbing.... I think it would be interesting to wander around in the 1920's. Can't remember all the plumbing details, but there was so much happening before the crash.
2. What futuristic/science fiction development would you most like to see? Beam me up, Scottie!
3. Which do you enjoy more: remembering the past, or dreaming for the future? I love to hear stories. "Mom tell us a story about when you were little?" was always my request on long car trips.
4. What do you find most memorable about this year's Lent? I've preached for four weeks in a row. Haven't done that in years! It's rare that a person doing supply gets to fill in for five weeks in a row at the same church. It will be a little bittersweet to say goodbye this coming Sunday.
5. How will you spend your time during this upcoming Holy Week? What part do you look forward to most? Since I don't serve a traditional parish, my week will not look like most pastors. I have a new employee that I'm training. I have a shorter work week. I'm the "go to girl" when someone doesn't show up to read, lead or acolyte at church this week. I am looking forward to worshipping in my home congregation. I haven't worshipped there in almost two months. It will be nice to be home.

Prayers for Rusty

A very dear friend of my parents died last night. Her name was Alta. The day after she retired from her job in November, they found that she was seriously ill. Almost three months to the day, she died in hospice care. My heart aches tonight for those who love her.

At Christmas time we visited my folks. My mother asked me to make a prayer shawl for Alta. I was honored to be asked and we quickly went to the Ben Franklin store to pick up the supplies. For two days I prayed and crocheted while football games, BBC reruns and other goofiness went by on the television. I prayed for Alta and her husband Rusty. I prayed for my parents whose lives have been so warmly touched by these dear friends. I prayed for their small mountain congregation and their priest who serves them.

After we left, Mom and Dad delivered the shawl to Alta at the hospital. She was due to have her second major surgery in a month. In the movement from room to room, the shawl was misplaced. But last weekend, Rusty found it packed in with some things. He tried to give it back to my mother. But she said no, it was his and it was packed with prayers for him to hold onto.

I sit tonight hundreds and hundreds of miles away from my parents, wishing I could do something to help them in their grief. I can't fix a meal or stay up late for a long chat. I can't help with practical matters. I can't do much of anything. But I will keep praying. And my mother has reminded me again, what a precious gift that can be. And so Mom and Dad, please know I am praying for Rusty and his family and for the two of you. Praying for comfort and love and strength.

A Heavenly Friday Five

On the RevGalBlogPals, Singing Owl posted the Friday Five as a memorial of sorts to her dear sister who died this week of Alzheimer's. Singing Owl asked what is your idea of a heavenly (i.e. wonderful and perfect):

1. Family get-together: Some place where the grown ups could talk and relax while all the kids were having fun. The beach sounds good. Or a lake some place where it was not too warm and not cold.


2. Song or musical piece: Hmmm.... nothing immediately comes to mind. I like a lot of different kinds of music. A thrilling Bach postlude. A totally cool Marty Haugen hymn with guitars, piano, claves and flute. Little kids singing a sweet Sunday School tune.


3. Gift: Time with a dear friend for a good meal and good conversation. Time would be the gift.


4. You choose whatever you like-food, pair of shoes, vacation, house, or something else. Just tell us what it is and what a heavenly version of it would be. Tonight we watched Gordon Ramsay trying to turn around an Indian restaurant. It made me remember a stellar meal I had last Fall in Minneapolis. The restaurant was delicious to smell! The food was authentic and marvelous. The company great. The service good. I want to go back!


5. And for a serious moment, or what would you like your entrance into the next life to be like? Not too difficult for those who love me and all that Christ promises. What, from your vantage point now, would make Heaven "heavenly?" .When asked if there would be sex in heaven, C.S. Lewis once said that no, there wouldn't be sex in Heaven. But we wouldn't miss it because Heaven would be too wonderful for us to regret the loss of this important human connection. So I guess I think heaven must be beyond my imagination. And when I try to imagine it, I find that there are always faults with my notions. I am trusting that God has it well taken care of. And that is the most heavenly bit of all.

Friday Five - Lenten Reflections

This week on the Rev Gals it's questions about Lent.

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras and/or Ash Wednesday this week? How? Shrove Tuesday I made pancakes for Soda Chicky. It's a bit of a tradition. On Ash Wednesday I went to chapel with Scarecrow, Dorothy, the Tin Man and Pseudo Baby.


2. What was your most memorable Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Lent? At a former parish we celebrated by having "The Mad Monks of Melody" play for a Mardi Gras dinner and worship. They're a Dixieland jazz band which is made up of musicians who met as Barbershoppers. A fun time was had by all. Nothing like marching around the sanctuary to "When the Saints Go Marching In".


3. Did you/your church/your family celebrate Lent as a child? If not, when and how did you discover it? Lent was always a part of our family. We went to church on Wednesday nights. Often there were special family devotions. No giving up of things. Not a Lutheran thing really.


4. Are you more in the give-up camp, or the take-on camp, or somewhere in between? As a kid, giving-up was "a Catholic thing." As an adult and pastor, I feel that giving things up only makes sense if the abstinence leads you to think about God. If it's just something to be unhappy and grouchy about- forget it.


5. How do you plan to keep Lent this year? Midweek worship at night or mid-day. Reading and having a four week preaching gig.