Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Perimenopause - the things they didn't tell us in fourth grade

Okay I am now officially complaining! And yes, it's personal! They have all kinds of ads and info and comedy about menopause, but why isn't there more public info about perimenopause? I'll tell you why! It's because it's perhaps a bigger nuisance than when you first started getting your period. So, here's the rant and the 411. The signs of perimenopause include:

  • Hot flashes - they're just what they sound like. And when they happen at night- night sweats. Oh! And they're also a part of menopause. So the fun just continues. Nothing like wondering "What, oh what, should I wear to bed at night? I'm cold. It's winter, but come 3:00am it may feel like I'm sleeping in a sauna!"

  • Breast tenderness - Why does every life transition include this one? Puberty, pregnancy, pms, etc.

  • Worsening of premenstrual syndrome - like the other symptoms weren't enough to make you cranky. Cramps like you had when you were first starting out.

  • Decreased libido - Lots of women in this age group have teenagers... You know, those people who say, "Not my mom and dad!"'

  • Fatigue - see the note on breast tenderness.
  • Irregular periods - this does not necessarily mean less often. It may mean twice as often! How is that fair?

  • Urine leakage - If you didn't learn to cross your legs when you sneezed during pregnancy, now is the time to start!

  • Mood swings - No kidding!

  • Difficulty sleeping - You have cramps, you're cranky, you think you might pee in your pants and you can't regulate your body temperature- yeah, you're going to have trouble sleeping!

Okay, I feel better now. I think I'll go have some chocolate, even though "they" say that I shouldn't!


God_Guurrlll said...

Amen sister friend.

I didn't read about this in my booklet that I got in fourth grade, "The Beauty of Womanhood."

Yeah right, beauty my a**

Songbird said...

I like to think of them as power surges, except that waking up cold and wet feels pretty crappy.

zorra said...

They heck with what they say. Just make it dark chocolate. Unless you prefer milk chocolate.

I assure you, this too shall pass. It's quite comfortable here on the other side, except for the slow metabolism and the weight gain :P.
...Other than that, being postmenopausal is pretty swell.

RevHRod said...

I knew you women would understand!

cheesehead said...

Okay. Bleeding for 8-9 days every 23 days or so. Not right, I tell you.

Sue said...

I'm on the other side of menopause, but experienced all the above. *sigh*

As Zorra has already said, "This too shall pass." The best part of being post-menopausal for me - my skin is better than it has been for YEARS. No more hormonally predictable zittage to worry about. Sweet!

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